Yes, That's Totally Me

Tell me something. When you try to step back from the world and take it from an overview what would you picture when you thought of gay? Would you see a gay pride rainbow flash across your mind? Would it be the image of two men together? What would it be?

Now take whatever it is you thought and dump it out of your mind. Why? Well plain and simply because you're wrong. There is no way you can define gay. No way you can put it down to just one image, just one saying, just one finite thing. Yes, you can have a technical definition, but is that really what you would consider to encompass the entire idea of gay?

The reason I bring this point up is because I have been thinking about stereotypes a lot lately. I know that the world is filled with them, but at times it seems like the gay world has so many more. If you're gay you fit into a category. It's pretty simple really to outline it all in a table.

Now clearly there are even more stereotypes that I've probably missed, but this just serves as an example. For the most part this is what is expected of gays. You have to fit the stereotype. Why is that? I know that personally I slip right into the ideal twink. I'm tall and skinny with a pretty face. Beyond how I look though, I am NOT the typical twink. I don't have an effeminate personality, I may at times, but overall I'm fairly masculine. I don't dress very "twinkish" and don't even get me started on a sexual position rant.

The thing that bothers me most of all is the idea of who my partner should be. Why does the stereotype have to dictate who I should be comfortable dating? If you read my previous post where I talk about self-image here's a prime example of how that tares me down on a regular basis.

See, I generally try to consider myself as someone without a type, but when I really step back and think about what it is that I want in a man the stereotype says I'll never have it. My dream man is somewhere in the realm of a jock. I like the tall blonde boys with a little bit more muscle attached to them. The problem there is I am FAR from a jock. The stereotype then just says that as a twink I will never get the man of my dreams. Thus, my insecurities about my body, which then lead to more insecurities about my love life and everything else.

While I can't blame the stereotype completely it does play a huge role in the gay world. As gays we have created a world where we may all have been born to stand out from the crowd in the straight world, but in the gay world we all need to fit in.

Well, here's my challenge to you in this post. Don't let a stereotype define you. Define yourself. As gays we have already proved how different and unique we are from the straight world, so why can't we do it again in the world we've created for ourselves?

I'm going to do my best to break my own stereotype. I know many of my friends now disregard the idea of the typical twink. Try it in your life. With a few small actions can come great change.

-S