Recently I've been getting into the tv show Obsessed. For those of you who have never seen the show its somewhat familiar to the premis of Intervention. The show documents people suffering from various forms of OCD. The show follows them from the peak of their obsession through treatment with a clinical psychologist.
What's interesting about the show is that it appears that all of these obsessions that people have may be somewhat genetic, but it's always some kind of traumatic event in a person's life that causes them to go over the edge. The world literally sends them in a downward spiral in their obsession. Now, I hate to think it, but I'm sure this is so popular because the typical American tv watcher seems to get some kind of sick enjoyment out of watching the suffering of others. Yet, I can't help but think that a lot of people take comfort in watching this show because it shows them they aren't alone in how messed up they may feel.
You have to admit, we all have our issues. I know I do. While I may not compulsively pick at my skin, pull my hair out, hoard items, or be tortured by visual images in my head I have my own issues. I think this is the hardest thing for a lot of people to admit. We all want to think that we are perfect. We all want to be able to say there's nothing wrong with us. We all want to be normal.
So what do we do? We hide things. We keep things in the shadows where we think others won't see them, but that just allows these things to fester and grow. Eventually if they aren't taken care of and allowed to grow they take over. Many times they take over after a traumatic life experience. The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, sexual assault. Something sends us over the edge.
From personal experience I know how traumatic events affect our lives. I've written before about how, at the age of 14, I was raped by someone I considered a close friend. To this day that experience still haunts me. Less than it did before, but it's still there. Certain touches, certain words, certain places or positions still send me into a small panic. This experience has shaped how I handle sexual relationships and it's actually caused a lot of problems, but in order to seem normal I've told very few of my partners what happened to me in the past.
In high school I was also very unpopular. I had a few close friends, but I was hardly in the "popular group," that's where I learned to bury my feelings in work. By the time I graduated I had the unofficial title "President of Everything," they were even kind enough to vote me most likely to succede. To this day though I'm still a workaholic. I hate downtime. Why you might ask? Well, downtime leaves me with time to think. Time to think means I have to face my feelings. I have to see the person I've become. While I am proud of many of my accomplishments I have sacrificed a lot to achieve those accomplishments.
I still have very low self esteem, can't accept a compliment, and as you've seen if you read I have a tendency to have very low standards in my dating life. Now I could go on and on about my own insecurities, but I think you get the picture.
My point here is that the world has created me. The world has made me this way. If I'm like this what is everyone else like? It's time to say no more. It's time for people to be able to say, "this is what's wrong with me, I need help," and not feel ashamed about it. Not be ridiculed by their supposed peers. We all know the world can be such a cruel place to those who aren't perceived as normal.
Now I know it's impossible for just me to change the world by writing things down on a blog very few people read, but at the same time I feel like just changing one person is the start. The next time someone comes to you for help, take off the judgement cap. Listen to them. Help them. Who knows maybe they could help you with some of your own issues. I feel like we could all learn a lot more if would would just accept the fact that no one is "normal." There is no such thing, so stop expecting people to be that way and support those you care for in every way you can.
I know I'm going to start trying my best to do so. We're not all that different from one another.
-S
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