Wishing for a Crystal Ball

I feel as though at some point in our lives we have all dreamed of having that crystal ball that we could just look into and see where our lives would lead us.

I know lately I've been wishing I had one. The ability to know if I am making the right decisions would be amazing, yet the biggest issue with knowing the outcome is you miss out on the adventure.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to figure out what direction I've got my life pointed in. It's been a difficult road to travel down because I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with where I am. My problem is I have a tendency to compare my life to the lives of others far too often. I look at those who are my same age and see what they've accomplished, where they've been, or who they know and I often forget to look at what I've done, where I've been, and who I know. I forget to be proud of myself.

I also have a tendency to forget my own age. At 20 I have accomplished some astonishing things. I have also managed to accomplish these things without having to rely on a lot of privilege. I don't come from a wealthy family, my parents don't have connections. I have built my life and who I am from the ground up on my own. Sure I have had the support of my family, but often times they had no idea what I was up to or who I was with.

Today I sit here writing worrying about where my life is going, but forgetting where I've come from. While I don't believe it's healthy to dwell on the past I do believe it's beneficial to remember the past. While there may not be a crystal ball for the future, the past is always there for examination.

Right here. Right now. I have no idea where I'm going. I have no idea what my life holds. I could very easily rise to the top, have everything I want, and accomplish my dreams. I could also just as easily crash and burn. The only deciding factor between the two stories now is me. I'm the only one responsible for my future. I have to take hold and prepare for my future success is not just for me. I have others to support and care for. I have others depending on me. I will not accept utter failure. While I may fail at some things I will not fail completely. I will always pick myself back up and move on to the next.

My future may be foggy, but I know one thing that is for sure. I'm going to build something. What that something may be I have no idea, but I'm going to figure it out. I will leave my mark on this world by using my talents and my determination.

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson