Monday, April 30, 2012

I made a liar out of myself!

Well it looks like I've made a liar out of myself. I haven't posted in quite awhile again. I don't have much new to post on. In fact I've been rather disappointed with myself lately. As the semester has been winding down I've had an insanely hard time focusing on anything but wanting to crawl into bed and go to sleep.

It's actually rather depressing to think about. I just hate the fact that I cannot seem to motivate myself anymore. In high school I was so driven and so active, but now in college it's almost like that drive has disappeared. I did get a kick in the rear on Friday. We had an executive from a multi-billion dollar company come in to two of my classes and speak and everything he said seemed so perfect for me. He reminded me of all the goals I had for myself at the end of high school.

I've had big dreams since I was a kid. I've always felt like I was going to go far in life and do great things, but lately it's been confusing as to what those great things are going to be and I'm really starting to fear failure. There are so many people that are basically expecting me to succeed, some of them are even depending on it. Yet, the issue here is if I let my fear of failure get in the way I have basically already failed without even trying.

I just need to find a way to motivate myself every morning. Something that reminds me of why I'm here. So many opportunities have been stuck right in front on my face. Now I need to pounce on them and start performing like I know I can.

Well, that's that! Sorry for the rather boring, rambling post. I promise they'll get better soon. I've got some good ones that have been brewing in my head for quite awhile! As always thanks for reading!

-S

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